Romancing the rains

I don’t know why I am so much attached to rains. Probably because I never got a rainy day off in school, probably I love playing football then, probably my soul needs to clean up regularly and probably it loves romancing the rains, probably I was never scared to slip off the road, probably I never made a fuss about the mud, probably I had clothes enough to wear the next day to office, probably my favourite word is petrichor.

I was in office till 8 PM. I knew it was raining outside since the noon and just wished that it remains when I get out of the building and walk towards my home. I was not alone. All I had was a John Players, a Provogue, a Lee, a Nokia, an Apple, a Bose, a Reebok, an Adidas, a VIP, and another VIP. I just wished I could throw all of them away and free my naked body to the rains, touch my soul, pierce through my heart and blow my mind away. Unfortunately, I was not the only one walking on the road. There were street lights too staring at me, shining bright on the black tar. All the sounds were so clear, the droplets bouncing on the lane and cracking, the stream of water flowing, tensed and anxious human talks, a folk song in a shop etc. Like an idiot I was searching for the moon and all I got was the rain hitting straight on my face. I felt like something very close just touched me and vanished in thin air. Melancholic musings were troubling my soul; I could feel the cold dampness inside me. I grabbed a fag and smoked all those thoughts away. I did not want to sit somewhere inside a shade, so bought an egg roll for dinner and headed for home. My mind was blank. I was just walking and felt like going on and on till I collapse. But my promises and my dreams were pulling me back. I looked back once and felt like I have grown up a lot but it doesn’t mean that I don’t take the next step.

All this while I was alone, serenading to myself and was just strolling on the wet and dry lands like we all walk in life. All I missed was a special friend, chai and bhajiya by the roadside. I miss my mom telling me not to get wet in the rain. Sorry mom! Can’t do that.

I am home now and rest of the night I would smoke with the clouds.

THE LADY OF POOR DREAMS

This poem has a lot of feelings attached ... I had written it 4 years back and is one of my compositions which I like the most.

One beauty of the autumn that the spring beholds

Over the mounts that the valleys stare

The autumn of affection, the valleys of love

Also over the dunes of the desert

And beneath the depth of the oceans

Wherever these eyes could travel

They see the similar unseen beauty.

And the dreams ain’t peaceful anymore

The senses respire but the heart would pant

When the bright beauty of the dark calls

Lost in the notes of the night, the nightingale sings

When the chilled dark is warmed by the woods

The moon melts the snow to golden splendor

In such precious seconds, a seraph is seen

Beautified among the cherubs and princess of stars

But she is the lady, the lady of poor dreams

Dreams that never saw love with closed eyes.

When the velvet clouds beyond the horizon cry

The low falling drops touch the reveries deep;

And though flooded in the waters of sorrow

They see nobody but some gestures, smiling

And when she was unheard still, the silence broke

The silence that the night induced, the dawn followed

And over the blue stretches of the rosy morning

A rose was never seen, but a dove was found

Spotted with kisses of love and bloods of hatred

But the dreams of the daylight never are true

And of the twilight are seldom false.

For the dark only shows the dreams poor

Blessed by the lonely moon and the flock of stars.

One Day!

One day I would see the light
Along the dark road to nowhere
The winds of south would come
Tell me the stories of heaven

There, where we have nothing to talk
And there where there is nothing to stop
There is no place to go but there is a way
There is no sorrow neither there is joy.

No reason to go there but to feel my breath
Oh my friend! don't be sad, sing to the woods
And the dew would wash away your tears
And the cold breeze would dry them.

And at the end freedom awaits me
And at the end my heart can feel my soul
And at the end there is nothing to regret
And at the end is the end to all failures.

Purano Shei Diner Kotha - English

I am not a very great fan of Tagore or his compositions even though I belong to the same place where he composed most of them. Neither do I profess great love for the culture, poetry and music of the same language. But there are certain compositions to which I am plainly attracted to.

The one which will be talked about here is an absolute poetry which is played with music or not can beat the best of the class.

This is a song very close to my heart, by Rabindranath Tagore titled "Purano shei diner kotha" inspired from the tunes of "Auld Lang Syne", a Scottish poem composed by Robert Burns. I made an attempt to translate the same into English. Forgive me if I was unable to preserve the beauty of the song. Also this is not an exact text translation. I tried my best. The Bengali text follows:

"Purano shei diner kotha
Bhulbe kii re
Hai o shei chokher dekha, praaner kotha
Sheikii bhola jaaye

Aaye aar ektibar aayre shokha
Praner majhe aaye mora
Shukher dukher kotha kobo
Praan jodabe tai

Mora bhorer bela phuul tulechi, dulechi dolaaye
Bajiye baanshi gaan geyechi bokuler tolai
Hai majhe holo chadachadi, gelem ke kothaye,
Abaar dekha jodi holo shokha, praner majhe aaye"

And here goes the English Translation:

The memories of the good old days
Can you ever forget it?
It was seen by our eyes, was voice of our life
Can it ever be forgotten?

Come back once more, my friend
Come and be a part of my life
We will talk of smiles and tears
And will feel very good about it

Together we have plucked flowers in the dawn
Together we have spent hours on the swing
Together we have played the flute
Sang the songs under the shade
We parted in between, never knew where we went
If again I see you someday,
Come and be a part of my life.

This song is about nostalgia, about loss of old friends and hope to meet them again, about the memories that always stay inside and seldom come out and play melody with our heart. It is remembering those old times and wishing them back. For friends that we lost while we were too busy with ourselves, while we were entangled by life, torn by time and just grew up relentlessly, only to realise one day what actually we have lost.

This is dedicated to all my friends that I have lost somehow and especially to my best friend!


Download this song at (right click and save link): 
http://www.music.com.bd/download/Music/H/Hemanta/Hemanta%20Collections/Hemanta%20-%20Purano%20Sei%20Diner%20Katha%20(music.com.bd).mp3.html

Not Without You!

The dusk is glooming over the blue horizon

Waiting for the unforeseen dark, silent and serene

Under the orange moon, over the quiet meadows

You and me, sailing over the grey clouds

No destination but journey is what we know.

Tonight we beckon the dawn but not always

For years have arrived to depart in days.

A long way along the golden woods we take

For the bliss of life as death is never so far.

The heaven above is unlike the earth’s entropy

But the love pot will be spilled one day.

I don’t pray, I just wish and I just hope

To row my boat over the winds to the stars

Touch the sky and wait there for you in solitude

Till the eternity when your soul would kiss me;

For your loss is unbearable to my faith

The emotions would grant me an unwished death

Death of the heart with limbs free to move

The fear I never would challenge alone.

How does it feel?

How does it feel to have lost the last chance?
How does it feel when you are late by some days?
How does it feel to be defeated never to win again?
How does it feel to have lost yourself?
How does it feel to be a sinner of someone else's mistake?
How does it feel to be responsible for nothing but for everything?
How does it feel to love someone to make promises?
How does it feel when the love could mean nothing, not even hatred?
How does it feel wanting to break the promises but cannot?
How does it feel when you ask questions to yourself and know there are no answers?
How does it feel when your soul is bleeding, your heart is punctured?
How does it feel when the body exists but with no beat inside?
How does it feel to have lost faith on everyone but one?
How does it feel to have no emotions for anyone but one?
How does it feel when tears are dry and the eyes weep inside?
How does it feel to hope against hope?
How does it feel to be living for one and its not you?
How does it feel to sell your feelings for nothing but dust and sand?
How does it feel to forgive someone and not forgiven by the same?
How does it feel to be helpless when you seek no help?
How does it feel to care for the murderer more than the victim?
How does it feel when you are dying and want nothing but something?
How does it feel ...

Thoughts from somewhere IV

When stand in front of a mirror, I look like a human being, but I don't feel like one.