In the past more than just a couple of times, I have not been happy about this new challenge that I had set out to conquer. Well, still I am not happy but the curve is moving towards it. But, to think of it, there are many things associated with a PhD student's life that makes it an exciting and definitely memorable experience. Here are just a few, entwined with my favorite songs.
1. I know what I am doing. Probably, for the first time in my life I can see myself 5 years hence. This beings peace, reduces anxiety and at least installs some beta version of satisfaction. Song dedication: Comfortably numb
2. I have taken decisions before, good and bad both, but probably in none of those I ended up doing what I actually wanted to do and to add more to it, liked doing it. I remember I wanted to quit my last job because it was not offering me enough fodder for my thought and well, I never like it that way. Graduate education was a tough decision and today, I am glad that I am loving it for more than half of my time. Song dedication: Day tripper
3. I am not wasting days after days doing nothing. This is something which always pissed me off. Being idle is what I enjoy sometimes but not always. Its like that inertia which keeps me pushing and everyday I want to do more. Song dedication: The show must go on
4. It gives me strength and courage to face demanding situations. I have already started seeing this change in me. The feeling of doing something worthwhile makes me mentally robust. Of course the phrase "Can't be worse than this" deserves a mention too.Song dedication: Lost
5. I am more disciplined and more organized. If you want to do a lot of things along with research and classes, you can't live without discipline. And along with it comes dedication. After a while, it makes a mark on the daily stuff that you do. There are many things which are still random but there is some sort of order in that randomness. Moreover, there is a constant effort put by me to improve the order. Song dedication: The Scientist
6. My thought process has improved. The way of thinking clearly, picking up pristine ideas, modifying them and delivering them across, still maintaining it sanctity is what I am learning automatically. Read a few papers and you will see that change in yourself too. Song dedication: Freebird
7. I don't have to fake anything, I am more ethical, I stop myself commenting on things I don't know much about, I can accept that I don't know - the surface has some depth now. And as the weeks pass by, they leave more to this dimension. And with truth, comes confidence. Everything flows naturally and you are not hiding it away. Song dedication: Sweet child of mine.
8. I love myself more. I can understand and define what I deserve, and also figure out a way to fetch it. I can command myself better and also developing the ability to measure myself, more the merrier. Its eternally pleasing to know yourself better. Song dedication: Nothing else matters.
