some talks, some emotions, some expressions & some silence

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Sunday, 29 November 2009


Walking with the limbs of lamb,
tired tumbling but no more inert,
through the woods and over the waters
he touched the soil unknown
couldn’t defy destiny’s decree.

Unexperienced, unexpected, unfamiliar, untried
was his body and soul ,his thoughts and emotions.
The waves in nature resonating through him,
like the narrow meandering waters,
like the valley between the knolls,
like the curves of fronds and flowers.

Not sure of the jobs still left,
not aware of the reason to do them,
an epitome of innocence and ignorance.

Had run many races,
it ain’t his attempt to walk.
And with the dawn of the new day,
perceiving the jobs undone,
begun his hunt for the reason
through the woods and over the waters.

Thousand drops blood and miles long walk,
pounds of work and days ending fatigued.
Asked the western moon and the eastern sun
Asked the sky above and the soil below.

Aching neck bent down, paining eyes drowsed.
Stunned by the bright silver flash of north,
he stood as an antique idol ,
to bless the world with light.

Moving his limbs through the waters,
he left his pain alone, drowned.
The dark became the light of life,
wounds healed in the golden rain of moon.
The tears on his face burning in hopeless hope,
hope, down a path long and deep and dark.

The northern winds, the northern waters,
were tough for him to search his hope.
The grey secret shadows of twilight
watching him with their secret eyes
as he could hear silent whispers
that were coming and fading away.

He smelled the fragrance far away
but saw nothing in the fog
felt the air, cold and humid.
as dark it was in heaven’s land.

he wished to see the northern light
but not always, as he closed his eyes
his dry throat asked for water and
as he touched the water, he touched the pain.

No moment to cherish, hours running in seconds,
distance counted in miles but the pace degrading.
at the deepest and the darkest, a dream did lie,
as the air of hope touched him, calling him.

And the goal so far, seemed to be near
through the aura,he saw the aurora
avenging on dark, the light of life;
afraid to take a step ahead,even a step back.

Braving the rays, ready to march ahead,
But then he stopped; heard something,
A voice through his soul, reverberating,
from the east it came,towards the west it went.

No wide waters, no broken bridges
no light to defend,easy efforts to make.
Was the darkness fake or illusion of his thoughts?
the spirit of light or the voice so divine.

Couldn’t cognite the coherent coexistence,
he followed the divine words,for his search,
and the air around with altering arrays,
escorting him on his long, lonely pilgrimage.

Satanic soul shattered by sacred sounds
succeeded by a new-born, innocent and true
sudden changes, never minor; he wondered,
“Who had been walking on the path of light?”

April-hearted, as he moved along the green
relishing the taste of fresh fragrances,
trying to know, if the birds meant him,
feeling the touch of eternity in every touch of him.

And after a long night, in the twilight, he saw
an angel with an aureole behind, as in dreams
but was a maiden singing the divine song,
spelling on him the feeling of love,
love, the eternal truth of life.

Was he an evil soul or a soul too divine?
Not even moved by the spell so divine.
The astonished angel scanned him through
Found his eyes illusioned, by a power enigmatic.

“What did you see on the way towards me?”
Shaking was her voice, cold was her soul.
“Nothing but the rays of north,the….”
And soon he was amidst the waters, stretched apart.

The black waters killed his thirst
The insane winds held his mind hostage
The mysterious moonlight kidnapped his soul
As the dark started commanding, he could see nothing.

And as the angel was pacing with the sail,
He saw death waiting for him at the shore.
Then soon he asked her to stop and return.

“You are wrong, its the light, the northern light.
The light that rules darkness, rules me,
you are blessed to have seen it, i am not.
Let me take you there, where it awaits with life
And let it forgive the curse laid on me.”

Like a pirate on an unknown voyage,
He sniffed the wealth at the northern shore
As he saw only raw stones, priceless to value
Again he said to stop and return, back to the dark.

When the noise behind struck his ears
He looked back and saw his people coming.
“There, see, my people,they are coming for me.”
How could she stop? The mighty fleet of death was behind them.

Slowly as her image faded
The light reminded him what he forgot.
The air was changing and so was he
No longer he saw priceless stones but shining gems.

Again he heard in a low, sweet tone…..
“You are the truth and so are your brothers.
You saw me but they didn’t bother
Like you, they were caught in fake eternity
Caught in the clouds of dark, lost their sanity
The cursed soul, now is a part of me
And that you never thank her, is the curse on thee.
Let your heart speak the language of love
Understood by me, my friends on earth and the flying dove.”


If I see you in my hidden prayers
If I promise to be with you in eternity
If I admire you every dawn I live
If I wish to see you in my dreams
If your tears are as precious as my smile
If your smile is as cherished as my soul
If your melancholy is my hatred
If your rejoice is my love
If you fight for what you wish
And If I be with you till I'm slain
If anyday I dont wake up
I would wish the most to see you
For if I'm slain its only for you
For if I see you not, my dreams will
And then if I say how much I know you
And then if I say how much I understand you
And then if I say how much I trust you
And then if I say how much I admire you
And then if I say how much I love you
Would you come to me and be my best friend?

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

2:52 AM

Shabnam aaj gaa rahi hai
Alfaz kam hai par matlab zyada
Boondon se baat kar raha hai man
Shayad tanhayi ka intezaar hai
Ya fir ek muktasar mohabbat ka
Zindagi kaat raha hai zakhmi dil
Kisi sans ki aarzoo se bhi darr hai
Aur aisi hi ek aur zindagi se
Yeh raat toh beet jayegi jaldi
Par kal shayad ek ittefaq hai.

Friday, 20 November 2009

Gtalk - 2:45 AM

Am I a human or I am just prejudiced to think myself as one?


Feasting on my left over emotions
Surrendering to the plight of my mind
My dreams want to get laid,
Sleep with the darkness
Till the dawn brings the veil of light.

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Silently Screaming

I wrote this poem for a competition on and the title was provided beforehand.

I was walking along the lanes of my parish
A sunny day, a warm wind over the fields
The green paddy was ready to ripe
And a solitary soul ready to reap
As I approached her, to see her work
With a smile I did greet but
I got none in return of it.
Wondering how such an angel
Could ever defy a silent smile,
The aura screamed in my ears
And a sweet silence prevailed.
She was untouched, but I was moved
So much of grief was buried inside
Not even a scream could take it away.
In the silence was lost the rush of blood
In the silence was lost a lonely heart
In the silence was lost a voice unknown
There was a scream that I could hear
And in the silence I was absorbed.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

Romancing the rains

I don’t know why I am so much attached to rains. Probably because I never got a rainy day off in school, probably I love playing football then, probably my soul needs to clean up regularly and probably it loves romancing the rains, probably I was never scared to slip off the road, probably I never made a fuss about the mud, probably I had clothes enough to wear the next day to office, probably my favourite word is petrichor.

I was in office till 8 PM. I knew it was raining outside since the noon and just wished that it remains when I get out of the building and walk towards my home. I was not alone. All I had was a John Players, a Provogue, a Lee, a Nokia, an Apple, a Bose, a Reebok, an Adidas, a VIP, and another VIP. I just wished I could throw all of them away and free my naked body to the rains, touch my soul, pierce through my heart and blow my mind away. Unfortunately, I was not the only one walking on the road. There were street lights too staring at me, shining bright on the black tar. All the sounds were so clear, the droplets bouncing on the lane and cracking, the stream of water flowing, tensed and anxious human talks, a folk song in a shop etc. Like an idiot I was searching for the moon and all I got was the rain hitting straight on my face. I felt like something very close just touched me and vanished in thin air. Melancholic musings were troubling my soul; I could feel the cold dampness inside me. I grabbed a fag and smoked all those thoughts away. I did not want to sit somewhere inside a shade, so bought an egg roll for dinner and headed for home. My mind was blank. I was just walking and felt like going on and on till I collapse. But my promises and my dreams were pulling me back. I looked back once and felt like I have grown up a lot but it doesn’t mean that I don’t take the next step.
All this while I was alone, serenading to myself and was just strolling on the wet and dry lands like we all walk in life. All I missed was a special friend, chai and bhajiya by the roadside. I miss my mom telling me not to get wet in the rain. Sorry mom! Can’t do that.
I am home now and rest of the night I would smoke with the clouds.


This poem has a lot of feelings attached ... I had written it 4 years back and is one of my compositions which I like the most.

One beauty of the autumn that the spring beholds
Over the mounts that the valleys stare
The autumn of affection, the valleys of love
Also over the dunes of the desert
And beneath the depth of the oceans
Wherever these eyes could travel
They see the similar unseen beauty.
And the dreams ain’t peaceful anymore
The senses respire but the heart would pant
When the bright beauty of the dark calls
Lost in the notes of the night, the nightingale sings
When the chilled dark is warmed by the woods
The moon melts the snow to golden splendor
In such precious seconds, a seraph is seen
Beautified among the cherubs and princess of stars
But she is the lady, the lady of poor dreams
Dreams that never saw love with closed eyes.
When the velvet clouds beyond the horizon cry
The low falling drops touch the reveries deep;
And though flooded in the waters of sorrow
They see nobody but some gestures, smiling
And when she was unheard still, the silence broke
The silence that the night induced, the dawn followed
And over the blue stretches of the rosy morning
A rose was never seen, but a dove was found
Spotted with kisses of love and bloods of hatred
But the dreams of the daylight never are true
And of the twilight are seldom false.
For the dark only shows the dreams poor
Blessed by the lonely moon and the flock of stars.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

One Day!

One day I would see the light
Along the dark road to nowhere
The winds of south would come
Tell me the stories of heaven

There, where we have nothing to talk
And there where there is nothing to stop
There is no place to go but there is a way
There is no sorrow neither there is joy.

No reason to go there but to feel my breath
Oh my friend! don't be sad, sing to the woods
And the dew would wash away your tears
And the cold breeze would dry them.

And at the end freedom awaits me
And at the end my heart can feel my soul
And at the end there is nothing to regret
And at the end is the end to all failures.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Purano Shei Diner Kotha - English

I am not a very great fan of Tagore or his compositions even though I belong to the same place where he composed most of them. Neither do I profess great love for the culture, poetry and music of the same language. But there are certain compositions to which I am plainly attracted to.
The one which will be talked about here is an absolute poetry which is played with music or not can beat the best of the class.

This is a song very close to my heart, by Rabindranath Tagore titled "Purano shei diner kotha" inspired from the tunes of "Auld Lang Syne", a Scottish poem composed by Robert Burns. I made an attempt to translate the same into English. Forgive me if I was unable to preserve the beauty of the song. Also this is not an exact text translation. I tried my best. The Bengali text follows:

"Purano shei diner kotha
Bhulbe kii re
Hai o shei chokher dekha, praaner kotha
Sheikii bhola jaaye

Aaye aar ektibar aayre shokha
Praner majhe aaye mora
Shukher dukher kotha kobo
Praan jodabe tai

Mora bhorer bela phuul tulechi, dulechi dolaaye
Bajiye baanshi gaan geyechi bokuler tolai
Hai majhe holo chadachadi, gelem ke kothaye,
Abaar dekha jodi holo shokha, praner majhe aaye"

And here goes the English Translation:

The memories of the good old days
Can you ever forget it?
It was seen by our eyes, was voice of our life
Can it ever be forgotten?

Come back once more, my friend
Come and be a part of my life
We will talk of smiles and tears
And will feel very good about it

Together we have plucked flowers in the dawn
Together we have spent hours on the swing
Together we have played the flute
Sang the songs under the shade
We parted in between, never knew where we went
If again I see you someday,
Come and be a part of my life.

This song is about nostalgia, about loss of old friends and hope to meet them again, about the memories that always stay inside and seldom come out and play melody with our heart. It is remembering those old times and wishing them back. For friends that we lost while we were too busy with ourselves, while we were entangled by life, torn by time and just grew up relentlessly, only to realise one day what actually we have lost.

This is dedicated to all my friends that I have lost somehow and especially to my best friend!

Download this song at (right click and save link):

Monday, 2 November 2009

Not Without You!

The dusk is glooming over the blue horizon

Waiting for the unforeseen dark, silent and serene

Under the orange moon, over the quiet meadows

You and me, sailing over the grey clouds

No destination but journey is what we know.

Tonight we beckon the dawn but not always

For years have arrived to depart in days.

A long way along the golden woods we take

For the bliss of life as death is never so far.

The heaven above is unlike the earth’s entropy

But the love pot will be spilled one day.

I don’t pray, I just wish and I just hope

To row my boat over the winds to the stars

Touch the sky and wait there for you in solitude

Till the eternity when your soul would kiss me;

For your loss is unbearable to my faith

The emotions would grant me an unwished death

Death of the heart with limbs free to move

The fear I never would challenge alone.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

How does it feel?

How does it feel to have lost the last chance?
How does it feel when you are late by some days?
How does it feel to be defeated never to win again?
How does it feel to have lost yourself?
How does it feel to be a sinner of someone else's mistake?
How does it feel to be responsible for nothing but for everything?
How does it feel to love someone to make promises?
How does it feel when the love could mean nothing, not even hatred?
How does it feel wanting to break the promises but cannot?
How does it feel when you ask questions to yourself and know there are no answers?
How does it feel when your soul is bleeding, your heart is punctured?
How does it feel when the body exists but with no beat inside?
How does it feel to have lost faith on everyone but one?
How does it feel to have no emotions for anyone but one?
How does it feel when tears are dry and the eyes weep inside?
How does it feel to hope against hope?
How does it feel to be living for one and its not you?
How does it feel to sell your feelings for nothing but dust and sand?
How does it feel to forgive someone and not forgiven by the same?
How does it feel to be helpless when you seek no help?
How does it feel to care for the murderer more than the victim?
How does it feel when you are dying and want nothing but something?
How does it feel ...

Thoughts from somewhere IV

When stand in front of a mirror, I look like a human being, but I don't feel like one.